Pouring my hopes and dreams into who I love

I am going to be a great aunt!

2009-06-04T14:53:00.003-07:00

And by great I don't mean awesome, that is obvious! ;)

My nephew Nathan and his wife Kristin surprised us on Monday with the wonderful news of the new baby that will be joining our family in February!

I am over the moon with excitement. I loooooove new babies in our family! I am so proud of my nephew and his new wife. I have never seen a young man so in love with his wife and so ready to be a daddy. He wanted children as soon as God would bless them upon his new family and it happened! They were married a little over a month ago.

My other nephew, Ivan (Nathan's twin) and Desiree are getting married next month and I am pretty sure more babies will shortly follow!

Our Cause

2009-06-04T14:13:00.005-07:00

Diabetes.

Something that I never really paid attention to or cared that much about until I met my husband.

I was drop-kicked hard and fast into a life of learning all about this cruel but manageable disease when my baby was diagnosed.

I am requesting prayers for what doors this disease has and will continue to open for us.

We are always drawn to volunteer work in this area but my heart is really leading me to do more. We do the JDRF walk every year, we help JDRF when and where we can, we have mentored families with newly diagnosed children, and we are volunteering for the Tee Up to Cure Diabetes Golf Tournament on the 13th.

I want to do more. I want to be strong enough to become an ambassador family for JDRF. I want to be able to stand in front of congress and fight for juvenile diabetes research funding to not be cut, to do whatever needs to be done. I want to be an example for my son and fight for a cause with all you have inside you. Right now what is holding me back is knowing that I can still not tell my story to others without crying. I cannot explain how I still wake in the middle of the night and run into my child's room and shake him into startle because I am afraid he has died in his sleep. I cannot talk about how sad it makes me that my child has to deal with the in's and out's of this disease every day of his life. They tell me that crying is okay, it shows that we are human and how drastically it has affected our family, but that is hard for me to do. Pray for our family as we are led to what we are suppose to be doing. We are all here for a purpose. We all have a story to tell and this is a big part of ours.

Saturday we will spend the morning at the JDRF kick-off meeting for the 2009 Walk at Cliff's Amusement park. We get to meet other families in our shoes, hear stories of hope and get motivated to do our part in finding a cure. The afternoon is filled with rides and fun! Trey says that our yearly JDRF Cliff's trip is an awesome benefit of having diabetes. That is my son, that positive one!

Happy 7th birthday to Devyn

2009-06-04T13:02:00.004-07:00

Happy Happy Birthday to my sweet Heavenly Devyn Leigh! Seven years ago you joined our family and on our anniversary we were able to bring you home from the hospital. We could not have asked for a better gift or celebration!

How do I put into words how blessed we are to have you as our daughter? You are such a joy to all that know and love you. Your sweetness radiates as much as your beautiful red hair and hazel-green eyes.

I remember the day you were born like it was yesterday. They brought you back from the nursery while I was recovering from surgery and that was when we first got a glimpse of that beautiful red hair. The nurses said you had a temper to match your hair. We thought we had some wild years ahead of us! Not the Baughman temper, Please! You have proven to be the exact opposite. You are such a mellow and even tempered child. You are loving and kind. You are gentle and sweet. You love your baby sister even when she pulls your hair. You share with your brother even after he picks on you. You do amazing in school and your teachers all adore you. You keep your room clean without mom and dad having to ask you. You are an easy good spirited child. You are quiet and shy with strangers and it takes a while for you to let people in, but once you do you love them wholeheartedly and your personality sparkles. You are sensitive and your feelings get hurt very easily but I think that is what makes you the sweet girl that you are. In so many ways you are exactly the same as I was as a child.

You love to go shopping with mom and love when we can sit down together and work on our scrapbooks together. We love to turn on Hannah Montana, Taylor Swift and P!nk and dance in the living room for hours. You prefer a trip to the salon to get a mani/pedi with me over a trip to the toy store. Just yesterday you saw a new nail place "that we just have to try!". You are my beautiful girly girl. I look forward to years of love and friendship as you grow up into a beautiful adult.

People always ask where your red hair came from. Even though you hear it everywhere you go you are still kind and say "I am not too sure." You are told how beautiful you are every time we are out and yet you are gracious every time someone tells you. If only they could all know the beauty that lies beneath the ivory skin, freckles and red hair. It far exceeds what could ever be seen on the outside.

You are such a wonderful example for your baby sister and I am so happy she will have you to grow up with and look up too. What better example could she ever have? You are both so lucky to have a sister and I pray that you two have a bond that will never be broken. When she is sad she calls for her sissy and bro-bro. She wants to be a part of whatever you are doing at all times. What a lucky little girl she is to have you. You and Trey fight. A lot. I feel your pain baby - I was the little sister too! I know that in time, like me, you will grow up to love and adore your big brother. You will look back on these years together and laugh just like your Uncle Ryan and I do all the time. You will be so happy that you have a big brother that loves you unconditionally and would lay down his life for yours (even if it doesn't seem like it now, he would). He is such a great example of strength, hope and goodness and one day you will be so proud to call him your big brother. The greatest gift I will ever give you is your siblings.

Tonight we will head to Bath & Body Works at your request and pick out a few fun girly things, ride the Carousel, and enjoy a night out with our family. Enjoy your special day sweet girl. I love you to the moon and back, more than there are stars in the sky, more than I love ice cream and pumpkin pie.

Love,
Mama

10 Favorite Things

2009-06-04T09:22:00.001-07:00

Haha - Crystal - I found this in my drafts. I never finished it! Whoops!

10 Things

Crystal posted about 10 of her favorite things starting with the letter J. I have been told I need to post more so I will do one too. My assigned letter is N.

1. Natasha - duh. She is one of my BFF's and I love her.

2. New Clothes - they make me feel sassy.

3. Nails - I feel pretty when I have my nails done. My toes must be painted, preferably red or pink.

4. Newborns - every newborn I hold sends me into a frenzy of baby fever. I love everything about them - the smell, the little squeaks, the tiny toes. LOVE THEM

5. New Castle - New Caste is a beer with memories for me. It was a happy hour special that a friend and I shared a lot of. We hated it, but drank it because it was cheap. It grew on us both.

(Dude, N is hard!)

6. No Use for A Name - A band I enjoy and have a lot of good memories associated with.

7. NYC - I am drawn there. I absolutely love it there and dream of moving there someday when my kids are grown.

8. New Scrapbooking Supplies - I am an addict. I admit it. I buy stuff and sometimes it isn't used for years. I am okay with that, it's not like it expires. :)

9. Neighbors - I love having good neighbors that I can sit and watch our kids play together with. Even better if they like mojitos. ;) I love me some Jess!

10. Night time - I love when my babies are all cozy in bed and I can enjoy some quiet time by reading a book, picking up the house, or watching a movie.

If you want to do your very own list, I will gladly give you a letter!

It has been a while (as always)

2009-03-09T08:34:00.003-07:00

Life has been busy and I just never seem to get enough time to get on here and post. When I do have the time I can't decide what I want to talk about. Blogging use to come so easy to me and I have thousands of Live Journal posts to prove it! These days it just doesn't and I can't quite figure out why. Any who.

Last week was AWFUL at work. I left one meeting crying like a pre-menstrual mess and then proceeded to get my leg smashed in my friend's car door at lunch when I was getting in and the wind slammed it shut on me. I have a bruise on my calf the size of my fist. I honestly thought it broke my leg. I just sat there thinking, "you have GOT to be kidding me. Really??" Ang, Eric and I promptly went and had a beer at lunch and they let me sit there and whine about my no good day. Good friends, I tell you. The crying episode is a long story but I personally blame it on me being sick and the fact that it was 2pm and I had still not had lunch yet. This morning I came in to a beautiful purple African Violet plant. It made me smile and think this week should be better. It will, right??

**wrong** I typed the 1st half of this entry this morning and since then, fell down......walking. Yep, you read that right. I was just walking down the hall and then all the sudden I felt everything go in slow motion as I was saying "Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooo." I hit the floor and landed square on my knees right in front of the guards station. After I told my lunch buddies Ang and Eric, they ran to the guards to see if they caught it on the surveillance tapes. They didn't, they had already checked. Thank God. We all got a great laugh out of it and my new nickname is Grace. I think it fits well. My life is summed up by a series of embarrassing moments. I have accepted it.

Dante and I leave for NYC in a week. I am uber excited for this trip. For once, a trip to some where awesome where I am not working while I am there! Dante will be in meeting during the days and I just plan on perusing the City all day. It is a dream. We are staying at the Hilton that's in the WTC/Financial District. I got tickets to see Late Night with my lover, Jimmy Fallon on St. Patty's Day. When I am there I am going to run on stage, hump his leg and ask him if I can have his babies. Record it friends. It will be good TV. ;) I am praying I get picked for "Lick it for 10". I dream big people.

On the 18th we are going to see one of Dante's distant relatives play the Bandoneon at a local Pub. He is in a group called Eternal Tango. We met him a few years ago and would love to see him again while we are out there.

Other that that we have no set plans. We really want to visit St. Patrick's Cathedral, Ellis Island, Ground Zero, spend some time in Central Park and do all the other touristy things.

This is a picture from the hotel we are staying in.

I actually had a dream about being in a hotel room with this view last night. It was fabulous. More to come later. I need to get some work done before the day's over.

Girl Scout Cookie Sales

2009-01-07T12:30:00.002-07:00

Tonight we have a meeting for Girl Scout cookie sales. I am not even going to lie, I am dreading this part. I am praying we aren't in a sale-crazed group. Scenes from Troop Beverly Hills are flashing though my mind and freaking me out. Nattie has told me that Bekah's group is way laid back with sales so I am hoping we are as lucky.

I sent out an email out work and I am sure we get most of her sales that way so hopefully it wont be too bad.

grrrrrrrr

2009-01-02T11:21:00.001-07:00

Blogger is not saving any of my formatting and it is making me cranky.

Mellow Friday

2009-01-02T09:13:00.010-07:00

While everyone was sound asleep this morning I drug myself out of bed and headed to work. Dante took the day off and the kids don't go back to school until Tuesday. Hardly anyone is here today so it has been nice and mellow. My co-worker and I just went and picked a yummy Carne Adovada burrito from Golden Pride and I am in the process of trying to clean my office while it is nice and quiet.

New Year's was nice. We had a fondue party over at Ryan and Lucia's, played some games and spent the night over there. Even though I wasn't drinking, I was nervous about getting on the roads with all the drunks. We were off yesterday and I was so lazy. We laid around, watched movies, played games and read all day. I have been reading Little House on the Prairie to Devyn and Old Yeller to Trey. I also spent some time creating last night. I did 14 layouts. Go me.

Before I forget: I have quite a few scrappers that read my blog so I am going to share some of my favorites sites:

A Page 4 All Seasons sells layouts that are all precut, have a instruction sheet and all the embellishments you can have 2 pages done in 15 mintes and they are simply amazing. I am totally addicted. It you follow their blog they often run great specials. The site is ran by some very sweet ladies. They also have some great monthly autoships that I am dying to start getting. This was one of the 1st layouts I bought and loved. Click HERE

I have been getting the monthly Housecall kits from Heartstring Designs. They are still my favorite for monthly orders. They always come with tons of supplies that you have left long after all your pages are done. Click HERE for the site. You can see this months kit up there now. I think these are the best for your money. They also have a Greeting Card kit you can get seperate or combine for a discount. Both are great!

Here are a couple layouts I love from one of last springs kits:

I love eyelets. Almost as much as I love flowers. :D You have to go to Eyelet Outlet & Brads for cheap eyelets. They have great deals: Click HERE

Please, if you have some favorite sites, share with me!

Dammit. All this talk is making me want to leave work and go home and scrap all night. :)

Audrey funnies

2008-12-31T10:34:00.003-07:00

I absolutely love age 2. Their personality really starts to shine and they say the most hilarious things. Audrey is so animated and she has the most expressive little face.

We were in the car driving home the other night and Audrey was upset at me for something (probably not getting her way) and she tells me with her eyebrows scrunched up, "I don't care. I don't 'preciate it! You not my best buddy any more!" As obnoxious and rude as it was, I totally laughed on the inside and scolded her on the outside. I don't appreciate it???? Really?? Where does that come from?! LOL

I call her "my darling angel" all the time. The other day I called her my precious angel. Se looked at me all hurt and said, "Ugh, I'm your darling angel mom."Usually she calls her baby doll her little sister. A little later she was in the living room looking for her baby doll and yelling, "Hey, hey, anyone know where my darling angel is?????"

Her other favorite thing to do is yell, "Yoooooou ready guys?!?!" When someone answers yes she yells, "Okay, dun, dun, duuuuuuuuuuuuuun!!" and jumps. For a 2 year-old this is apparently very entertaining and can be repeated over and over. It doesn't matter if you are at the grocery store or in church. ;)

There are countless other things she says or does on a daily basis but I can't think of them right now. She bring such joy and fun to our home. What a great kid.

I love writing down the kid funnies. I have so many from Trey and Devyn in my Live Journal. Every now and then the kids beg me to log on and read them. We laugh and they adamantly argue that the never said or did such things.

Sarah darlin!

2008-12-31T10:30:00.003-07:00

I am definately going to be in Omaha at the end of April. We need to start making plans!!!!! YAY!

I can not wait. I thought I'd never get a chance to make it out there to see you!

**happy dance**

Potty training continues

2008-12-31T10:19:00.002-07:00

Audrey is doing really well. She has only had 1 accident at home so far and that was this morning when she was still half asleep. She has had a couple in daycare. I think Leona my not be taking her to try as much as I am able to at home. Her hands are full, especially with her kids being out of school. I am taking her every 30 minutes or so until she gets the hang of it.

We went and bought Audrey Princess and My Little Pony panties and she has big opinions on which ones she wears every morning. She prefers Pooh, then Dora, and after that it doesn't really matter. :)

I am thinking we will have days down in a couple weeks and then we can start on nights. She is such a smart little gal. She is picking it up pretty quickly.

This morning she said, "Mom, I do NOT like to pee in my pants. That is gwoss!"

You look tired today

2008-12-31T07:37:00.005-07:00

"You look tired today". That is a nice way of saying you look like crap I think, right??

I got up early this morning and actually took time putting on my make-up and curling my hair, which I rarely do anymore. With 3 little kids, sleep is more valued than looking pretty. Just sayin'. So imagine my disgust when someone walks into my office this morning and says, "You look really tired today, are you okay??" Ugh. And here I thought I looked hot today, lol. Snap. It may have to do with the fact that I was up til 5am on Friday night and 2 am on Saturday night. My body is still trying to get re-adjusted. I am just too old to have the wild and crazy nights like I use too. :D

We had a great Christmas. It was the normal holidays. We went to my mother-in-laws the Saturday before, Adam's sister's house for Chirstmas Eve, my brother and Lucia's for Christmas day, and my father-in-law's for the Saturday after. It was really busy, but nice. Friday night my cousins Micah, Daniele and her hubby, Jeremy, came into town (hence the late nights). We had a "Rock Band" and dance party til 4am the first night with them, my brother, Lucia, and Dani's friend Adam. It was a blast! Good honest and clean fun. Saturday night we went to Crazy Crocs Tavern and then we all realized we were too tired and decided IHOP sounded better than beer.

This week has been dragging. I am so glad we get tomorrow off. I will work Friday and then have 3 more days off. Hopefully I will fully recover by then! Tomorrow night is girl's night out. Nothing crazy, I promise. My wild nights usually consist of getting a double shot latte and then not being able to go to bed until 1am because I'm too hyped up on caffiene. That is how we roll friends. You can't tame these girls. ;) I am very excited to get some time to hang out with my new friend, Brynn (hi Brynn, if you are reading!). I met her through our Krafty Ladies Group and she lives just down the street. We hit it off really well and the kids had a blast playing with her 3 little ones. I am always down for a new scrapbooking buddy as long as Texas doesn't try and steal her like it did Crystal and Jess! :( Good girlfriends are really hard to come by and she seems like such a sweet girl. :) She even offered to take my kids while we recovered on Saturday, lol. What a sweetheart. Noami is coming to GNO also and we haven't gotten to hang out much lately, so yay!

Right now I am sitting here listening to Etta James and Otis Redding trying to get motivated to get some things done. My desk is a mess, I have some slides I need to complete for a meeting I am presenting at in Atlanta, I have a drug inventory to complete, some filing to code and absolutely no motivation to get it done. I am living in the land of manana today. My brain is still in vacation mode.

Potty Training day 1

2008-12-28T18:59:00.000-07:00

Audrey got some Dora and Pooh panties for Christmas so we decided today was the day to start trying to potty train her. She has been out of diapers all day, except for nap time and has not had a single accident. :D Trey was almost 3 before he was potty trained and with Devyn we didn't even try until she was 2 1/2 or so. Audrey just turned 2 but she has been really interested in it so we decided to give it a whirl. She is such a bright little thing! :)

Now we just need to break her of the binky at bedtime! LOL

2008-12-23T16:27:00.002-07:00

I was off yesterday and so were the kiddos. I took a bath and when I came out of the bathroom I found a note on the bed that said "ring this for food, drinks and more" and a big bell. I heard the kids scheming outside in my room but I of course thought they were planning something to get themselves in trouble with. LOL. They are so sweet.

Work has been so busy

2008-12-23T15:14:00.002-07:00

It looks like I am coming up on some busy travel in the next 2 months. I am dreading it.

I will be in:

-Santa Fe for a Strategic Planning Conference January 13-16. I love this trip. We stay at La Posada which is close to Heaven in my book. Dante and the kids usually come up on the last night and we hang out in Santa Fe the next day.

-Atlanta for an end of study training meeting January 28-30 that I am presenting at. **yikes**

-San Diego for a study kick-off meeting February 9-11.

I hate the busy travel time of the year. I miss my family like crazy and I feel bad that Dante has to do it all while I am gone.

I won't lie though, the no diapers, a full night's sleep, long peaceful showers, reading a book uninterrupted....all of that is pretty nice. When I first got this job I traveled a lot - usually 5-8 times a year. It has really mellowed out lately which has been nice. When Maria worked here, I loved to travel because us girls know how to have FUN. But now I travel either alone or with Rob and it just is not the same. LOL

My God of the Eleventh hour

2008-12-23T10:38:00.004-07:00

Mass on Sunday really spoke to my heart. Father Whorton's homily was about our God of the 11th hour. How in so many times in our life it seems like God has left you alone in your sorrow or desperation, but in the end He is always there when you need Him the most. He told a story about how his sister had only had c-sections and was pregnant again. She prayed that God would allow her to have a child naturally even though all the doctors had told her no, a c-section was the only way to go. Ring a bell? **ding, ding ding** And in the end, she was in the operating room about to go into surgery and the baby came on it's own. That was God's intervention answering her prayers.

This was my story. I felt like this message was God's way of saying, "Yes Brandi, I see you there in the 4th pew back and I am so glad you could join us today!" LOL

I always felt like I had been cheated out of the experience of a natural childbirth that I had so desperately wanted. I went to my OB and asked him to please let me try when I found out I was pregnant with my third child. He consulted with the board and they declined my request. A c-section was scheduled for a Monday morning and I had no choice. I had been put on bed rest at 32 weeks and at 38 weeks, on a Friday night, I was sitting on the couch and as I leaned back to stretch my back, my water broke. I took my time showering, shaving my legs and getting pretty before heading to the hospital. I am a bit prissy like that. ;) I was not having many contractions and my labor with Trey was so incredibly long I figured why not?? Well, as Dante was wigging out, I decided to not blow my hair dry and get going. By the time we got to the hospital my contractions were so intense I thought I was going to have my baby in the lobby. ;) I got triaged and they let me hang out for a while. Since I was progressing so fast they were trying to get an O.R. ready for me but kept having emergency c-sections bump my spot. So finally a room was ready and they took me back. I was still drug free and pretty panic-stricken. They checked me before getting started and the doctor said, "Um, I think we are going to have a baby right now the good old fashioned way!" Little 5lb 15oz Audrey Genevieve came screaming into the world minutes later. My active labor was all of 20 minutes long. It was what I had prayed for and it was empowering and beautiful. It was intense because I was so unprepared mentally for a drug-free birth, but I would not change any of it.

It is interesting because I struggle with going to mass every single week but when I get there I feel so happy that I decided to go. I will admit, we have not been in over a month. We had been really good about going every Sunday but this is all still very new to us. We were married for over 7 years before we decided we needed to be raising our family in the Church. But now, every time I walk through the doors of our parish I feel at home. When I got down on my knees I teared up and thanked God for bringing me back. I pray for forgiveness for the choices in my life I make that aren't always the best. I always pray that He holds me tight and doesn't let me slip away. It sounds cliche', I know, but I do get a very overwhelming emotional feeling every time I am there (unless we end up in the cry room, haha).

Dante and I went through Alpha classes the first half of 2008 and start RCIA in January. On Easter I will be baptized and confirmed in the the Catholic church. It has been a beautiful journey and I am very blessed with the Alpha friends I have made along the way.

Pics O' Pie

2008-11-13T14:25:00.011-07:00

The sweet face I love

Mom and Audrey's work of art on Tuesday

The look I get when she is annoyed with me. Sassy!

Audrey is 2!

2008-11-13T13:48:00.000-07:00

Audrey is such a funny kid. Her personality is bright and sassy. I love it.

A few of her recent funnies I don't want to forget:

-Everyday she tells me "My Mommy, I lub you weally bad!" or "My Mommy, I want you, weally weally bad."

Really bad. I love it

-Last week she was yelling at me from downstairs. I headed down and she yells up the stairs, "Mom! Are you naked??" LOL, um, no kid, fully dressed thanks!

-She at random told Leona the other day, "Mrs. Ona, my mom takes baths....and poops."

-Everything is blue. You ask her which one she wants (in regards to anything) and her answer is "da boo one".

-We were in the line at the store on Monday and she tells me, "Mommy, mommy, 'ook, Obama, on da book!!" Sure enough there was a People magazine with him on the cover. Seriously. She JUST turned 2 and she knows who Obama is??? What the?!

- If she gets mad she tells you in a stern voice, Goo'bye!" and stomps out of the room and closes the door.

- Every thing is Dora in her world right now. She wanted a Dora birthday party, she has a Dora toddler bed, chair, toy box, clock, chair, etc. in her room and is very proud of it all.

- If I show her something she likes her response is, "Ahhhhh, nice." LOL. I showed her a picture I took of her on the camera and she tells me, "Ahhhh, nice."

- We hear "I no wanna _______" a lot. A LOT. "I no WANNA night, night!" I no wanna Mrs. Ona's house!" the list goes on and on. She is very "two".

- She is in a big girl bed now and loooves the freedom. She gets up and plays but the moment you open her door she books it to her bed, dives in and pretends to be asleep. She will be in her room for 5 minutes and will yell out the door, "Mom!!!! I wake up!!!!!"

- She loves the song "Let it Be" by the Beatles. She sings at the top of her lungs in the car, over and over and over..... "Yet it be!!!Yet it be!!!!!!"

- Her favorite book is The Going to Bed Book by Sandra Boynton. She knows every word to it. We read it every night and I say the first word on the page and she finishes the sentence (yelling every line, I mind you).

- If I don't answer her right away she will call me by my first name. "Mom, mom, mom, BRANDI!!!!!" Every day when I pick her up from Leona's I knock on the door and I hear her inside yelling, "MY BRANDI IS HERE!!!!!!!!!!!"

She is such a cool little person.

We are walking for a cure

2008-10-27T20:25:00.001-07:00

This Saturday our family and friends will all stand behind my little man and walk together in his honor. I can't even write that with out getting teary eyed. We pray that there is a cure for diabetes in Trey's lifetime. No child should have to endure what he does. We have calculated that in his 8 years of living with diabetes he has endured over 23,000 finger pokes and over 7,300 injections. It breaks my heart that he doesn't squirm and throw a fit when he sees a needle coming at him. He is 9, he should wig out with shots.

I still remember every single detail of the day he was diagnosed. The horror of hearing that my 16 month old baby has a disease that will change all of our lives still makes my hands shake. I still wake up more times then not in a panic that he may have died in his sleep from low blood sugar. It is an awful feeling and I'd give every limb to have that go away.

I try and see the good in everything and as much as this disease sucks, it has made him who he is. He is strong beyond his years. He is compassionate and he will be the first to tell you "it could always be worse". He is the type of person that will make a difference. It has taught our family a lot about life, and for that, I am thankful.

Insulin is not a cure. Support diabetes research.

Please come see mine and Trey's pages and read the comments our friends and family have left Trey.

See how many lives he has touched.
Brandi's:

http://walk.jdrf.org/index.cfm?fuseaction=extranet.personalpage&confirmid=87052346

Trey's:
http://walk.jdrf.org/index.cfm?fuseaction=extranet.personalpage&confirmid=87253752

I love you son and I pray every single night that we will wake up to the news that there is a cure. Keep your eyes up to the stars. You are making a difference in this world. A little bit longer buddy.....

Pictures from our trip to San Antonio to meet Cole!

2008-03-28T09:30:00.014-07:00

On the plane to San Antonio. This was Audrey's first ride on a plane (other than the few while she was in my tummy.)

Watching Sesame Street on the iPOD.

Audrey trying to getting a glimpse of Cole.

Cheese!!!!!

Cole in Audrey's old moses basket. Audrey had to try it out too.

Tuckered out girlie.

Kaelyn and Lauren at Chick-fil-a

The ride home. :)

Some picture love

2008-03-28T06:52:00.007-07:00

Easter was wonderful. We got up early and the kids played with their gifts from the Easter Bunny. We went to High Mass at 9am. It was beautiful. I love the "bells and smells" of the Solemn Mass. Monsignor Raun was giving mass and he is so inspiring. All the priests are, but he is something special. He teaches quite a few of our Alpha sessions and he is amazing. The kind of teacher that has you hanging on to every word and trying to live by them. After mass we headed to Dante's dad and the kids had an easter egg hunt and then we went to dinner at my parents. It was a busy but very mellow and peaceful day.

My parents are re-landscaping their backyard and Trey is Grandpa's helper. No worries my paranoid friends, my dad operates heavy machinery for a living, he is in good hands here. ;) Growing up, one of my favorite things was working with my dad and getting rides in the bucket of the back hoe. Glad to see my kids feel the same way. ;)

My brother took this picture and Trey told him, "My mother is going to kill grandpa when she see what he let me do!" LOL. Okay, so *I* tend to be the paranoid one. I won't even let my kids ride the horses at my in-laws because *I* am scared of them.

Trey is such a hard worker. He is always eager to help out (especially if it involves tearing stuff up, lol). He tore down all the timbers from that terrace.

I feel a scrapbook page coming on, woohooooooo!

You are so loved by many....

2008-02-01T08:12:00.000-07:00

Sweet Tristan, who has made such an imprint on my heart, passed away last Sunday.

Please continue to pray for his mommy and daddy and his 2 big brothers that loved him so dearly.

In a world of uncertainty, they were so blessed to be able to spend 56 beautiful, love-filled days with him. Jesus now has one more sweet little boy in His arms.

Prayer request

2008-01-15T12:06:00.000-07:00

Please lift the Summons family up in prayer. They welcomed their sweet baby girl, Mary Grace, into the world yesterday and then said goodbye to her after she went to be in the arms of Jesus.

http://marygracesummons.blogspot.com/

Also please continue to pray for sweet little Tristan. He has made it to day 43 today and every day is another blessing. Please pray for his continued strength and for many more days with his mommy, daddy, and 2 big brothers. His parents are amazing Christians and honestly, every post I read on their blog makes me strive to be better. They may never know this but Tristan has played an enormous role in my dedication to finding religion again.

http://tristanasher.blogspot.com/

I am telling you something. These mother's of these sweet and beautiful T-18 babies are something so special. There is a reason why God chose them to be their mommies. They inspire so many, they are strong and beautiful in their faith and the love they have in their hearts is unwaivering.

Audrey 13 months

2007-12-17T21:00:00.000-07:00

Date night with the sweetest guy under 4 foot tall

2007-12-14T21:52:00.000-07:00

Once a month the kids get a special date night. This month it is with me and next month it is with dad.

Tonight Trey and I went and finished some Christmas shopping and picked up 2 gifts for birthday parties tomorrow. We had dinner while we were out and they headed to Blades to go ice skating. It was so good to get some much needed one-on-one time with my son. Since Audrey's birth, our time together has been as a family. The time we have had as a family of 5 has been great but we also really needed some time to re-connect individually. Both Trey and Devyn really thrive on special time with Dante and I and it reaps so many rewards for our family. Overall behavior is better and they just seem more happy.

Last Friday night Devyn and I went to dinner, My Little Pony Live, and to Starbucks for hot chocolate after. I didn't tell her what we were doing until we got there. I told her to get dressed up and we were going to have a special night. She was so excited once she figured out where we were. :) She is such a sweet little girl and our night together was very special for both of us.

Here are a few pics from our night out:

I am so sad I forgot the camera tonight when we went skating. :(

In following up to Natasha's it is too quiet post.....

2007-12-05T09:54:00.000-07:00

This is what happens when Devyn leaves her Halloween candy out and suddenly you realize the baby is way too quiet.

She pulled out the floor pillows, took a seat and opened a box of Spidey Candy Sticks(aka - what us kids of the 80's like to called candy cigarettes). Next in line where the Dots but daddy intervened.

Isn't she cute when she is getting into trouble?!?

Trey has been dx with ADD

2007-11-29T12:49:00.000-07:00

He was placed on Ridalin last night and today marks day 1 of treatment. He will have weekly follow-up for a while with his pediatrician.

And really, if one more person asks me "Are you sure it isn't just him acting like a kid or being a boy??" I am going to kick them in the @#*&*$ teeth. Medicating was a very big decision for us and no, we didn't make it lightly. We are not idiots, yes, we have done our research, any other questions???

I hate the stigma with ADD and the misdiagnosing that has placed such a stigma on the kids that have it. His evaluation ruled out "Bad behavior", defiant disorders, depression, bipolar disorder, and learning disabilities. I feel confident that we are making a decision to help our child's future. I am sorry if "you" do not think he needs to take "one more medication" or have one more "thing wrong with him". I don't love it either but I am pretty hip on him being able to focus in class, follow instructions, do well in school and finally make some friends.

I am too damn emotional over this to deal with people's judgy-ness right now.

/vent.

My birthday letter from the sweetest son ever

2007-11-25T15:34:00.000-07:00

Dear Mom,
Happy Birthday. I hope you have a good day. I love you mom. You are the best. You are fun to play with. You are my best friend. I like you because you care for me.
Love you Mom,
Love Trey

Today is a big milestone. Goodbye 20's, hello 30.

2007-11-25T15:30:00.000-07:00

30.

I remember when 30 sounded so old. LOL

I feel proud to be 30. I have accomplished a lot in life already and I can embrace my age. I have a beautiful loving family, a husband that loves me and all my flaws, three of the coolest kids ever, an education, a nice warm home, a good job....really I could not ask for more.

This morning I was served breakfast in bed with 3 noisy kids and it was fabulous. :) I nursed Audrey and we all cuddled and hung out while Dante did the laundry. :) I am still sick as a dog with this head cold and tummy "issues" so laying in bed all day sounds pretty terrific. Trey and Devyn are in the loft making my birthday present which I am pretty sure consists of construction paper, pipe cleaners and some messy paint that I am praying does not end up on the carpet. LOL

To Wean or not to Wean

2007-11-20T16:05:00.000-07:00

We made it past our 1 year goal!!! Yay us!!!!

I will be honest with you here, I am realllllly tired of pumping at work. I am not however, tired of the whole nursing experience one bit. I love how attached she is to nursing and how it can soothe her instantly when she is upset. I love how she tugs at my shirt when she is fussy.

I have thought about not pumping at work anymore since she can be on cow milk now at my mom's and only nursing at night. The only problem is that she usually sleeps through the night now so with eating dinner that maybe leaves 2 nursing sessions a day and I know my supply, it will be gone in a matter of weeks if I don't keep pumping at work. I just don't know what to do.

I am leaning towards self-weaning, don't offer/don't refuse but I may just give in and keep pumping at work and keep offering it to her.

The decision to wean will be so bittersweet. I am so anxious to be done with pumping but I am not ready to never have a nursing baby again. That makes me incredibly sad.

I feel bad for forgetting

2007-11-20T10:31:00.000-07:00

Ang and I were chatting about something today that has been on my mind a lot lately. This is the 2nd year in a row that our angel's anniversary has passed and I didn't realize until a couple weeks later.

We lost a baby November 4th, 2005. I knew it was happening before it did. My HCG levels never got that high and then I started spotting. I was on the way to the hospital to have another blood test done and was in a pretty nasty accident on my way there. I was nailed when a guy ran a red light and my truck was wrapped around a light pole. I remember crying to the fighter pilot who ran to my aide from the AF gate where I was hit "My BABY, noooooooooooooooo!!!!!" I called Crystal and Dante and thank goodness Crystal worked right inside the gate, she came running out and Dante was there shortly after. Dante went to pick up Trey and Devyn and Crystal stayed with me all night. I started bleeding heavy at Urgent Care that night and it was confirmed, our baby was gone. It hit me really hard. We had conceived on my Grandmother's birthday and everything just felt right with the pregnancy. I should not have lost the baby. I was due on the 4th of July and after almost a year of trying we felt so blessed.

A few months later I was pregnant again. Despite bed rest, the pregnancy went as planned and at 38 weeks Mrs. Audrey joined our family on November 4th, 2006 on her own, 2 days before my scheduled c-section. It took me weeks before I realized that she was born on the anniversary of losing our last baby. 2 WEEKS later I realized. I had a baby in my arms and her birth did not go as planned. It was traumatic for me, not in a terrible way, but emotionally traumatic. IT happened the way I prayed it would but it was overwhelming. I was not prepared to go through labor again and I sure as hell was not prepared to push out a baby with no drugs and so quickly. In the whirl whird and euphoria that surrounds having a baby, the day slipped past me.

With that being said, I allowed myself to have let the day go by without acknowledging it, but this year I did it again. I felt so much joy in celebrating a whole year of life with my baby girl that I did not morn our loss on her birthday. I feel like my grief was very short lived but it was real and it was painful when I was going through it. I do feel like my heart healed quickly, sometimes too quickly that I feel guilty. It doesn't mean I have forgotten. Every time I drive through that intersection I tear up and remember every detail - what I was wearing, the desperation I felt, the thankfulness that Crystal was their to support me, all of it I feel simply when driving by the new light pole. My God, it was a horrible day. I feel like Audrey was given to our family on our Angel's day to help us heal, to take away the sadness that tainted that day.

I do feel that our baby's soul came back to us in Audrey. She was not ready to join us the first time around but in the end, she was. That is just my belief....or maybe what I tell myself for comfort. It makes me feel better. When we were trying the first time I had a lady at work who I turn to a lot for spiritual guidance tell me, "Don't worry Brandi, March. March is your time." So imagine how I laughed when I got pg in October and was due in July. Well after the loss and ttc again, we ended up finding out I was pg again in **drum roll please** March. Everything about Audrey's pregnancy and delivery points to higher signs and "coincidences" (I believe there are no coincidences in life) that are undeniable in my book. She is a gift. The funny thing is, when I was pg the first time I really felt that the baby was a boy. We named him Xavier shortly after I miscarried and in my heart I was carrying a boy.

My heart hurts for all my friends that have experienced loss. It is so painful and the heartache, it is miserable. I think of what Ang had to go through, delivering a sleeping baby, and I cry for her. These women that go through this - they are so strong and they have to put on a brave face and keep their family going despite the pain and personal terror they are going through. I will never downplay an early loss because I know first hand, losing a baby at any point in a pregnancy is terribly hard on a person, but I can not imagine going through a loss like Ang did. Hun, I know you are having a hard time with Reese's due date coming up and I just want you to know we love you and we love her. You have made such strides in life even amid great loss and your family's life being turned upside down. You honor your little girl every day with the person you are and the way you live your life.

From the New York Times -

2007-11-20T09:55:00.000-07:00

You can make something out of everything.....even Sesame Street I guess.....geez.

By VIRGINIA HEFFERNAN
Published: November 18, 2007

Sunny days! The earliest episodes of “Sesame Street” are available on digital video! Break out some Keebler products, fire up the DVD player and prepare for the exquisite pleasure-pain of top-shelf nostalgia.

Just don’t bring the children. According to an earnest warning on Volumes 1 and 2, “Sesame Street: Old School” is adults-only: “These early ‘Sesame Street’ episodes are intended for grown-ups, and may not suit the needs of today’s preschool child.”

Say what? At a recent all-ages home screening, a hush fell over the room. “What did they do to us?” asked one Gen-X mother of two, finally. The show rolled, and the sweet trauma came flooding back. What they did to us was hard-core. Man, was that scene rough. The masonry on the dingy brownstone at 123 Sesame Street, where the closeted Ernie and Bert shared a dismal basement apartment, was deteriorating. Cookie Monster was on a fast track to diabetes. Oscar’s depression was untreated. Prozacky Elmo didn’t exist.

Nothing in the children’s entertainment of today, candy-colored animation hopped up on computer tricks, can prepare young or old for this frightening glimpse of simpler times. Back then — as on the very first episode, which aired on PBS Nov. 10, 1969 — a pretty, lonely girl like Sally might find herself befriended by an older male stranger who held her hand and took her home. Granted, Gordon just wanted Sally to meet his wife and have some milk and cookies, but . . . well, he could have wanted anything. As it was, he fed her milk and cookies. The milk looks dangerously whole.

Live-action cows also charge the 1969 screen — cows eating common grass, not grain improved with hormones. Cows are milked by plain old farmers, who use their unsanitary hands and fill one bucket at a time. Elsewhere, two brothers risk concussion while whaling on each other with allergenic feather pillows. Overweight layabouts, lacking touch-screen iPods and headphones, jockey for airtime with their deafening transistor radios. And one of those radios plays a late-’60s news report — something about a “senior American official” and “two billion in credit over the next five years” — that conjures a bleak economic climate, with war debt and stagflation in the offing.

The old “Sesame Street” is not for the faint of heart, and certainly not for softies born since 1998, when the chipper “Elmo’s World” started. Anyone who considers bull markets normal, extracurricular activities sacrosanct and New York a tidy, governable place — well, the original “Sesame Street” might hurt your feelings.

I asked Carol-Lynn Parente, the executive producer of “Sesame Street,” how exactly the first episodes were unsuitable for toddlers in 2007. She told me about Alistair Cookie and the parody “Monsterpiece Theater.” Alistair Cookie, played by Cookie Monster, used to appear with a pipe, which he later gobbled. According to Parente, “That modeled the wrong behavior” — smoking, eating pipes — “so we reshot those scenes without the pipe, and then we dropped the parody altogether.”

Which brought Parente to a feature of “Sesame Street” that had not been reconstructed: the chronically mood-disordered Oscar the Grouch. On the first episode, Oscar seems irredeemably miserable — hypersensitive, sarcastic, misanthropic. (Bert, too, is described as grouchy; none of the characters, in fact, is especially sunshiney except maybe Ernie, who also seems slow.) “We might not be able to create a character like Oscar now,” she said.

Snuffleupagus is visible only to Big Bird; since 1985, all the characters can see him, as Big Bird’s old protestations that he was not hallucinating came to seem a little creepy, not to mention somewhat strained. As for Cookie Monster, he can be seen in the old-school episodes in his former inglorious incarnation: a blue, googly-eyed cookievore with a signature gobble (“om nom nom nom”). Originally designed by Jim Henson for use in commercials for General Foods International and Frito-Lay, Cookie Monster was never a righteous figure. His controversial conversion to a more diverse diet wouldn’t come until 2005, and in the early seasons he comes across a Child’s First Addict.

The biggest surprise of the early episodes is the rural — agrarian, even — sequences. Episode 1 spends a stoned time warp in the company of backlighted cows, while they mill around and chew cud. This pastoral scene rolls to an industrial voiceover explaining dairy farms, and the sleepy chords of Joe Raposo’s aimless masterpiece, “Hey Cow, I See You Now.” Chewing the grass so green/Making the milk/Waiting for milking time/Waiting for giving time/Mmmmm.

Oh, what’s that? Right, the trance of early “Sesame Street” and its country-time sequences. In spite of the show’s devotion to its “target child,” the “4-year-old inner-city black youngster” (as The New York Times explained in 1979), the first episodes join kids cavorting in amber waves of grain — black children, mostly, who must be pressed into service as the face of America’s farms uniquely on “Sesame Street.”

In East Harlem and Bedford-Stuyvesant in 1978, 95 percent of households with kids ages 2 to 5 watched “Sesame Street.” The figure was even higher in Washington. Nationwide, though, the number wasn’t much lower, and was largely determined by the whims of the PBS affiliates: 80 percent in houses with young children. The so-called inner city became anywhere that “Sesame Street” played, because the Children’s Television Workshop declared the inner city not a grim sociological reality but a full-color fantasy — an eccentric scene, framed by a box and far removed from real farmland and city streets alike.

The concept of the “inner city” — or “slums,” as The Times bluntly put it in its first review of “Sesame Street” — was therefore transformed into a kind of Xanadu on the show: a bright, no-clouds, clear-air place where people bopped around with monsters and didn’t worry too much about money, cleanliness or projecting false cheer. The Upper West Side, hardly a burned-out ghetto, was said to be the model.

People on “Sesame Street” had limited possibilities and fixed identities, and (the best part) you weren’t expected to change much. The harshness of existence was a given, and no one was proposing that numbers and letters would lead you “out” of your inner city to Elysian suburbs. Instead, “Sesame Street” suggested that learning might merely make our days more bearable, more interesting, funnier. It encouraged us, above all, to be nice to our neighbors and to cultivate the safer pleasures that take the edge off — taking baths, eating cookies, reading. Don’t tell the kids.

Caveat teletor: Volumes 1 and 2 of “Sesame Street: Old School” are available on DVD, which you can sample and buy on Sesameworkshop.org. With a few episodes, extras and celebrity appearances by the likes of Richard Pryor and Lou Rawls, “Old School” sounds harmless enough. But are you ready to mainline this much ’70s nostalgia?

Halloween 2007

2007-11-09T09:03:00.001-07:00

These are from Dante's cell phone but I figure I would post them anyways. :)

Parent teacher conferences 2007

2007-11-09T08:16:00.000-07:00

Devyn - Kindergarten:

"Your daughter is just precious. No really, she is just a precious, precious person. We love her to pieces." That is what her teacher told me. Of course I know that, I am her mother. But when someone sees in your child what you see as a parent, it is wonderful. She really is a sweet, sweet, kind soul. My God, she is so much like me as a child. She is really quiet and reserved if she is not 100% comfortable with people. She is loving and strives to do well. She is a "people pleaser" as her teacher says. This can be good and bad. She loves school and tries really hard to do well but it also means she doesn't take risks in her learning. She doesn't not want to be wrong and that may mean not speaking up and taking the chance. Again, so me as a child. She has grown leaps and bounds in a matter of a few months. She is reading really well and according to her teacher, her abstract thinking is beyond the Kindergarten level. **mama beams**

Trey is an amazing boy and truly, he is a brilliant witty child. He is so smart. My goodness, you never know what is going to come out of that child's mouth. LOL. But man, it is really nice going into a conference and hearing, "your child is doing great, no areas to work on, no behavior issues".....with that segway, I will move on to my little man.

Trey - 2nd grade:

I have to say, this is the first year where he has actually said he really enjoys school. He teacher is exceptional. Her class is so calm and controlled and you can see the gears spinning in her students minds when you walk through the door. She has been such a blessing in Trey's eduction. This however, is the third year in a row that I have heard how Trey has a difficult time focusing and he is not finishing his work on time. He does not do well in writing workshop and has a hard time get his thoughts onto paper. Those comments are always followed with how smart he is and how well he does in Math and Science. He thrives in discussion type learning because he can vocalize his thought amazingly well. He aces spelling tests and his vocabulary is way above level.

So where do we go with that?? His teacher has talked to the site OT about him and unfortunately, because he is making progress every year he is not eligible for assistance at school. So he is struggling, but not struggling enough??? Gotta love a public education. I have made appointments with his pediatrician as well as a private OT to have him screened to see what is going on. It could be anything from ADD to sensory issues. Daniele (my cousin) is an OT and she is doing a screening for us and has also been giving me a lot of advice on refocusing strategies for him to use in class when he is feeling like he needs it. So were are working in the right direction at least. I am finally realizing that this is less of "boys will be boys" and more of we need to take care of this issue while he is young.

I am heading out here in a few minutes. I am going to see Annie with Trey's class today at the Kimo theatre. I am excited. Annie was the first real play I saw as a child. I saw it at Popejoy when I was 5 or so. I loved it (and still do). It should be fun!! If it is good I am going to take Devyn to see it sometime this weekend. I have forced the movie upon her and she has conformed, rightly so, into an Annie fan. LOL

It feels really good to be writing again. Really Good.

I'm back!!!!!

2007-11-09T07:36:00.000-07:00

I am not sure how I let over a year go by without posting on my blog here! I still post over at LJ quite a bit. Well okay, more that I do here at least. I feel bad about my lack of blogging. I have missed out on documenting so much this last year. I feel I am finally out of the new baby/first year fog. Little Miss still doesn't sleep all night for the most part but I am not really forcing it either. She likes to nurse at night and for now, today at least, I am cool with that.

The kids have been sick with Rotovirus or the stomach flu. I took Audrey to the Urgent Care last night and thankfully she did not need an IV. She nursed a few times over night and seems to be so much better today.

Devyn was so cute yesterday morning. She had missed the 2 prior days of school and that was not good, the kid LOVES school. She came downstairs at 6 am while Dante and I were having coffee and she was fully dressed fro school, bedhead and all. LOL, she was not about to miss another day!

I do not like to have random ramble posts so I will do many more "themed" posts over the next few days to try and play catch up.

Happy First Birthday Darling Audrey!!!!!

2007-11-09T07:12:00.000-07:00

I am not sure how it happened but it has. Audrey turned one on Sunday. **sniff, sniff**

I had grand plans of (finally) typing up my birth story and posting it on her birthday but we have had sick kiddos. Hopefully in the next few days I can get it posted. :)We had a lovely little party for her on Saturday. It was nice and small with family and a few friends. It was mellow and perfect for a first birthday. :) She loved her cake and cookies and was on a sugar high for a good 4 hours after, lol.

Happy birthday Little Miss Pipers. You have blessed our family with such joy and happiness. You are one awesome little girl.

Audrey on the news Sunday morning. :)

Her favorite toy (from our neighbor Jessica)

Her cake

30 week update - YEAH!!!!

2006-09-08T10:12:00.000-07:00

This morning I had my 30 week appointment. BP and urine was fine, baby's heart rate was fine, etc.

I am measuring at 31 weeks and I know my due date is exact since I was charting, etc. so it looks like we just have a big baby in the oven. Devyn was almost 8lbs at 9 days early so it's not shocking. I like big chubbed out babies so bring it on! :) It's funny, I still feel kind of small and I was just worrying to Dante last night about the size of the baby and my growth being behind and here the baby measures a week ahead. Go figure!

Good news from the scale. After gaining 8 lbs at my last appointment I was scared to see what this month would look like. The good news - I had actually lost weight. Okay, only 1lb, but still no gain is good in my book!!! So I am now at a total gain of 17 lbs this pregnancy - totally doable.

I also have a tenative c-section date set of November 8th. He is submitting all the paperwork to verify that the O.R. and everything is free. I should have a confirmation at my next appointment. I am also all set to get my tubes tied during my c-section.

I now am going every 2 weeks - exciting stuff, I tell you. I am so chipper today. For one, my hip doesn't hurt for the first day in ages and two, I am only 60 days away from having this baby!!!!

Relief

2006-09-08T09:49:00.000-07:00

About a month ago my mom got news that her liver enzymes were elevated. She was sent for tests for Hepatitis B and C and an ultrasound of all her organs. They were concerned that it could be liver cancer. :( Well her blood work for Hep can back clean, of course and her ultrasound showed that her liver and kidneys were fine. It turns out that she has multiple large gallstones and has to have her gall bladder removed. We are all so relieved that it's not cancer.

Thank the Lord. I could not even start to imagine my life without my mother.

So thank you for all the well wishes and prayers, it was a worrisome month. :(

The word of the day

2006-09-07T07:32:00.000-07:00

Pluot

It is a hybrid of a plum and an apricot and OMG is it YUMMMY!!!!!

I am officially addicted.

A real update to come later. :)

Happy 29 weeks to me

2006-08-30T06:06:00.000-07:00

And Happy Birthday to Jack!!!!! I hope you have a wonderful welcoming into the world today sweet baby boy! Good luck Crystal - I will be thinking about you all day. I hope your c-section goes perfect.

We have had a gazillion baby name conversations to date and still are pretty unsure of what this child will be named.

Top names as of now:

Girlie names: It's now between Audrey and Bronwyn, mn will be Genevieve.

Boy names: It's now between Elliott, Ross (Natasha, don't choke, lol - it has been on our list since I was pregnant with Trey) and Bradley. MN will be Louis. I like Jude but Dante hates it, dang it.

Nothing new and exciting to report. I am still dying from sciatica drama. I resorted to bringing a pillow to sit on at work. I hope people don't think I have hemroids! LOL

My tender heart

2006-08-23T09:10:00.000-07:00

My Trey. Sigh.

All through Kindy he was very comfortable with his diabetes and Celiac and very matter of a fact about it. He got up and told his class that he has diabetes and showed off his insulin pump and told them why he had it and was very proud.

I asked him this year if the nurse had come in to talk to his class. They like to do this so the kids don't think his pump is a toy and try to press the buttons and also so they will know to watch out for him on the playground, etc. He told me that he really didn't want her to come in this year and his diabetes was very personal to him and he wanted to keep it private. I think he is at that age where he is embarassed about it and doesn't want people to know. Of course that makes my heart break in two because it was never any issue - he never felt different, now he does. Or maybe he felt different before but he didn't care then and now it's affecting him.

I hate that he is different and now he realizes it and it makes him feel bad.

He did meet little Trey (a kindergartener) - the only other diabetic in the school and he is very uninterested in it all. I don't know how to handle it all. Do I go with it? Do I press the issue? How do I reassure him that it's okay to be different? I just don't know.

This is a very hard mommy moment.

Devyn funnies

2006-08-22T09:18:00.000-07:00

This kid is so cute, I swear.

The other day I was asking Trey to help her buckle up in her carseat and he jokingly tells her, "Sure but it's going to cost you!" She looks at me all annoyed and says, "Mom can you hand me my wallet, please." (Her wallet was in my purse since we were going shopping.)

Yesterday she told me that she doesn't want to turn five because she really likes her carseat and she is not too fond of the booster seat we have for her.

State law in NM is 5 and 40lbs before they can be in a booster. What is it in your area?

Trey is a 1st grader!

2006-08-16T13:55:00.000-07:00

Trey outside his classroom:

Devyn in front of the school showing off:
Trey at the desk he picked out:
The kiddos out side the Kindy and 1st grade wing:

Miss Sassy pants herself!
Not to embarassed to love on his sissy in front of all his classmates:

Good Girls!!!!

2006-08-15T14:30:00.000-07:00

Buddies, Devyn and Rebekah :)

Little girls are so.....well behaved! Our boys trash the room and get every toy possible out. The girls go in the room and quietly read to each other, play with the doll house, or color. And the put stuff away as they finish! It is so different from boys! LOL

These were taken after they had been swimming. :)

27 week Belly Pictures

2006-08-15T13:13:00.001-07:00

Trey is now 7! and a rant

2006-08-04T10:26:00.000-07:00

His birthday was on Wednesday. Seven. That sounds so...old to me. Sigh.

I am annoyed with my FIL. He thought buying my 7 year-old a 4-wheeler that goes up to 40mph was a good idea, without even consulting us. Dude, the kid can't even drive his Little Tyke Hummer 5mph with out crashing into the house and giving his sister whip-lash. Seriously, isn't that a gift you would call mom and dad up and say, "Hey, I want to buy Trey a 4-wheeler, is that okay with you guys??" Oh, and a helmet would be a smart thing to include. He now has a 4-wheeler he can't ride until we can afford to go drop $100 on a helmet. It is torturing him.

I am having a really hard time biting my tongue on this one. I know he is just trying to be a nice grandpa and buy him neat boy things but, ugh.

I know, both Dante and I had 3-wheelers at this age but it was really before all the deaths and kids getting paralized were being reported. One 20/20 episode on it and my parents sold ours and had a pool put in the back yard.

It is always something.

He had a great birthday and was spoiled to the hill, just like every other year. I just can't believe I have a 7 and 4 year-old. I am getting old. LOL

It's been a while

2006-08-04T10:04:00.000-07:00

I'm not sure what is up with me but I haven't been too much in a journaling kind of mood lately.

Pregnancy:
Wow, I am 3 days away from moving into the double digits. I got my weekly email update on Wednesday and realized I am already in my 26th week, I think I am only a couple weeks away from my 3rd trimester.

I had a brief trip to L&D last Wednesday and was there for monitoring. I was having some pretty painful contractions every 10 minutes or so for a couple days. The doctor checked me and I was nice and high and completely closed. He wanted to hold off giving me the tributaline(sp?) since he said that women with multiple past c-sections tend to have many more intense contractions at this point but they don't generally change the cervix.

Baby names are frustrating me to no end. A girl name is pretty set but boy names are still iffy. I liked Oliver, but Dante choked and gagged when I told him. So for now it's Elliott Louis. I keep bringing names up to Dante and nothing gets a good response these days.

I have brought up recently:
Daylan
Ian
Elliott
Oliver
Micah

If it's a girl, she will be either Audrey Genevieve or Brynn Genevieve. :)

I feel like I am getting pretty big and the baby is moving tons. Have I told you how much I love that?? I still have pelvic ligament pain and heartburn like mad but I can't complain too much.

And FYI - camping while pregnant is never a good idea. We went to the lake and it was fun but the heat and sleeping in a tent are highly over-rated.

A cute Trey saying

2006-07-20T14:40:00.000-07:00

He was taking my belly pics last night and he told me, "Oh mommy, look, you are getting birth stretches!" He meant stretch marks, lol.

I thought it was sweet. He is always pushing my belly and saying he can feel the baby. He walks by me and gives my belly a sweet rub and keeps going about his business.

23 Weeks

2006-07-19T07:08:00.000-07:00

Nothing too exciting to report from my appointment yesterday. I was in and out in 10 minutes.

Let's see, the basics:

Weight: I gained 4 lbs for a total of 10 pounds. I am okay with that. Even in I gain 1lb a week for the rest of the pregnancy I will only gain 26lbs or so. Considering I gained 40+ with Trey and 30 with Devyn, I would be thrilled with only gaining 25-30lbs! LOL

BP: 110/68

Baby's heartrate: 145bpm

Fundal Height: right on target

I go in to get my gestational diabetes test done in a couple weeks and hopefully that will turn out okay. :)

She also told me that the u/s results all looked great. :)

I had been having hellish sciatic nerve pain in my hip. I have never had this with my previous pregnancies (thank goodness or I don't know if I'd be doing this again right now) and it was miserable. I finally broke down and went to my chiropractor even though insurance won't cover it and got an adjustment done. It did WONDERS. For one, I was able to lay on my stomach for a few minutes, what pregnant woman doesn't love that opportunity! I still have pain here and there from it but it really did the trick of taking away the constant pain. It upset me that the doctor told me there is nothing you can do about it other than wear a maternity belt, take a bath and some tylenol. How many women just take that and suffer for months? And most chiropractors are pretty good if you call them and tell them your situation with insurance and agree to pay up front. My appointment only ended up being $37, worth every penny.

The baby is so active now! I have had a lot of movement that you can see from the outside now. I love this part of pregnancy and know how much I am going to miss it. I am really trying to relish in every part of this pregnancy.

Names are still up in the air for us, I need to start looking through my books again. We just aren't able to find a boy name that we both love other than Elliott, which Dante is just "okay" on. Maybe I should drop it and when he arrives (if it's a boy!) he'll have no other choice! LOL

I can't believe I am a week away from being 6 months. Crazy! Dante and I were talking on the way to work yesterday about how excited we are for November to come. November has always been a favorite month of mine. As a child it was because it was my birthday month, but as an adult it is the start of the holidays. I love Thanksgiving and getting together with family. This year we will have a new baby to love on. I am so excited to be off work all of November, December, and January. It will be wonderful. I am a freak and actually love being in the hospital having a baby. I love the excitement and anticipation, the visitors, and the feeling of euphoria that a new baby brings to our family. I love taking a gazillion pictures, bonding and staying up all night staring at my baby. I still drive by the hospitals where Trey and Devyn were born and get such a warm fuzzy feeling. I am never eager to get out like some people are. That may be different this time, only because due to RSV season, the kids won't be able to come visit me. It will be hard to be away from them for 3 days. Dante is planning on bringing them to the hospital and I will go to the lobby and have lunch with them. Even thought they won't be able to come see the baby, it will be good to see mommy!

Enough of the rambling....have a good day my friends!

Misconceptions of Diabetes

2006-07-18T09:18:00.000-07:00

Diabetes Myths and Misconceptions
By Catherine Marschilok, M.S.N., C.D.E., Board Certified in Advanced Diabetes Management

We all know a diagnosis of type 1 diabetes is hard on families as they learn to cope with a number of changes in their daily life. While people care, it is all too common for them to ask questions that reflect a lack of knowledge about type 1, such as, “When will she outgrow it?” It can be frustrating to explain the battle that all families face every hour of every day, and that can be compounded by having to deal with people’s common misunderstandings and misperceptions, including the widely-held belief that type 1 diabetes is not a serious disease.

Here are some of those myths:

myth: Taking insulin cures diabetes.

fact: Taking insulin keeps people with type 1 diabetes alive, but does not cure the disease. While progress toward finding a cure has been substantial, there is still no cure for diabetes.myth: Diabetes is caused by obesity, or eating too much sugar.fact: While obesity has been identified as one of the “triggers” for type 2 diabetes, it has no relation to the cause of type 1 diabetes. Scientists do not yet know exactly what causes type 1 diabetes, but they believe that both genetic and environmental factors are involved. Eating too much sugar is not a factor.

myth: With strict adherence to a specific diet and exercise plan, and multiple insulin injections each day based on careful monitoring of blood sugar levels, a person with type 1 diabetes can easily gain tight control over his or her blood sugar levels.

fact: While the above strategy is the most effective way to achieve and maintain tight control of blood sugar levels, optimal blood sugar control can be very difficult for some patients. Many factors, including stress, hormone changes, periods of growth, and illness can easily cause blood sugars to swing out of control. Teenagers, in particular, may be susceptible to this problem, as their bodies go through many changes during adolescence. Also, some people with type 1 find that even though they strive for tight control and follow their meal plan and insulin schedule, they still experience rapid fluctuations in their blood glucose. Those fluctuations do not mean the person with diabetes has done anything wrong.

myth: People with diabetes should never eat sweets.

fact: Limiting sweets will help people with type 1 diabetes keep their blood sugar under control, but, with advice from their doctor or nutritionist, sweets can fit into their meal plan, just as they would for people without diabetes. And there are times when sweets are a must: if the blood sugar level drops too low, sweets (or juice, or soda) can be the surest to raise it, and prevent the onset of hypoglycemia.

myth: People with diabetes can’t engage in athletics.

fact: Physical exercise is important for everyone’s health, and is especially important for people with diabetes. Regular exercise helps lower blood sugar levels and keep them in the target range. There are countless examples of athletes who have had great success, from Olympic Gold Medalist swimmer Gary Hall to baseball great Ron Santo to hockey great Bobby Clarke.

myth: Only kids get type 1 diabetes.

fact: Type 1 diabetes, also known as “juvenile” or “juvenile onset” diabetes, is usually first diagnosed in children, teenagers, or young adults. However, people may develop type 1 diabetes at any age.

myth: Kids don’t get type 2 diabetes.

fact: Though type 2 diabetes is usually diagnosed in adulthood, increased obesity and other factors have led to a recent “epidemic” of this form of diabetes in young adults and children under 10. Still, most children diagnosed with diabetes get type 1.

myth: Women with diabetes shouldn’t get pregnant.

fact: Thanks to advances in diabetes research, the outlook for pregnant women with diabetes is significantly better today than it was a generation ago. However, diabetic pregnancy requires extra effort and commitment, excellent blood sugar control, and education in all areas of diabetes management.

myth: No matter what you do, a person with diabetes for years will eventually get complications.

fact: Complications are not inevitable. The mechanisms that cause complications are not yet fully understood, and the extent to which they develop varies from person to person. Tight blood sugar control is the only method demonstrated to reduce the risk of developing complications, but their occurrence remains unpredictable in any individual. Some individuals with type 1 diabetes may be genetically predisposed to develop complications (one of the critical issues being addressed by JDRF’s research).

I'm tireeeeeed

2006-07-14T14:44:00.000-07:00

Who want's to come help me make a billion cupcakes?? Devyn has ballet in the morning so I need to do them tonight when I get home, but I am tireeeeeeeed.

Tomorrow is Trey and Devyn's birthday party. The big 7 and 4. Wow. When did my babies grow up?? We are having a pool party for a few friends and family. I feel so bad that Trey didn't get addresses of his classmates. We were only able to get ahold of 2 kiddos from his school (our neighbors). There will still be enough kids to fill the pool once mine, Natasha, Leona and Maria's kids are in there! We decided to do it in the evening this year because it is so flippin' hot during the day. Good times.

Yesterday I spent all evening searching for "Heelys" for Trey. They are those shoes that have the skate wheel in the heel, aka - arm breakers. I found them after going everywhere in town and once I overdosed on shock, I paid the $80 for them and he will now be one very happy child. It has been the only thing he has asked for in months (besides an IPod) so I figure why not. He is an agile child, not a klutz like me and Devyn so we should be okay. Maria is buying him elbow and knee pads for his birthday and he has a skate boarding helmet so he is all covered. LOL

Devyn is getting a Leapster game system (so I don't have to hear her fighting with Trey to use his) and some big My Little Pony that you can style the hair on. She is such a girlie girl. My parents are awesome and saved all my toys. I recently gave her all my My Little Pony's and Dante is getting out my Cabbage Patch Kids for her this weekend. I think I have about 12 of them. I was a freak and that is all the toys I ever played with and what I asked for for every birthday and Christmas. I have always been a bit obsessive compulsive. LOL

They have been counting sleeps until their party so we are all glad it's finally here. LOL

Passing on a good word - diabetes support

2006-07-12T07:39:00.000-07:00

Dear JDRF Friends and Families,
As many of you are aware, JDRF is not only the leading charitable funder of type 1 diabetes research, we are also the leading national advocate for diabetes research. Currently there is a major issue going through the U.S. Senate. Please read the following information and the request for assistance.
The U.S. Senate will finally be voting on key stem cell legislation in July. Contact your legislators today to make a difference!
Click the following link to log on to JDRF’s Take Action site: http://www.capitolconnect.com/jdrf
Follow the instructions to send Senator Domenici a letter requesting his support
Senator Bingaman is on record as supporting H.R. 810—send him a thank you letter!
H.R. 810, the Stem Cell Research Enhancement Act of 2005, will expand federal funding for embryonic stem cell research
H.R. 810 passed the U.S. House of Representatives in 2005
New Mexico is a key state in this vote.

Our Pretty Princess

2006-07-11T09:30:00.000-07:00

Dress up with Devyn

2006-07-07T08:06:00.000-07:00

TGIF at it's finest

2006-07-07T07:29:00.000-07:00

I am so glad the weekend is almost here. Why is it that the short weeks always seem the longest? I am only working 3 days this week and it seems like it's been 5 already. Bizarre.

I am on countdown to maternity leave already, lol, 4 more months, 4 more months....I will have all of November, December, and January off and go back in early February. I am thrilled about having the holidays off with a new baby!

I have baby on the brain all the time so forgive me if I talk about it more than I should. We still haven't talked much about baby names. We were all set on Elliott Louis for a boy until Dante announced that he wasn't crazy about Elliott anymore. So boy names, oy vay, we have no idea. We still like Audrey for a girl but it is still up in the air also. I am still pushing for Brynn but Dante says it's "boring". LOL. We will figure something out soon, I hope. I guess it's time to bust out the baby name books again.

We have also decided that this for sure is our last baby. I will be getting my tubes tied during my c-section. If I didn't have to work, I would push for not doing anything final but I can't imagine being a full time working mom and trying to shuffle the schedules of 4 kids around and pay for daycare. Also Trey is very high needs, medically. He still has to be monitored 24/7 and God forbid, it we have another diabetic child, life will be so choatic and expensive.

Speaking of daycare - My mom has offered to watch this baby for us. We are going to pay her $100/week and she will be watching all 3 kids 3 days a week. We were already paying her a little, mainly to cover food costs. It's actually only $15 less a week than the Montessori we were looking into and we can't claim it on our taxes or use our flex spending account to pay her, but it's my mom - you can't get any better care for your children than your own mother. So I am happy about that. Our car will be paid off in another year or so and then finances will be right back to were they were before. Thank goodness.

I am in a chatty mood today - not sure why, but it's too early to call Natasha or Crystal so here I am. LOL

I am so happy for my friend Rhiannon! I gave her my lucky Clomid that I had and she got pregnant her first cycle on it. We both miscarried around the same time last year and her and her hubs have been TTC for quite a while now. So yay for babies!!!!!

2006-07-06T11:07:00.001-07:00

Belly Pictures from last weekend:

These were taken at almost 21 weeks .

I think I have gotten huge.

And this is what I see, lol. I am pleased that I am carrying like I did with Devyn - very up front basketball like. With Trey I carried like a watermellow and just looked fat the whole time.

2006-07-06T06:42:00.000-07:00

Trey lost his 4th tooth on the 4th of July so now he is missing both of his top teeth. It looks adorable, of course and he is talking funny. I love it!

I can't believe he will be 7 in less than a month.

He is such an awesome little soul. He has been very involed in the local JDRF (Juvenile Diabetes Research Foundation) and has really been enjoying it. We are sponsoring a walking team for the Walk to Cure Diabetes in September and have a goal of raising $2000. He is now writing thank you letters to local companies who donated a total of $90,000 for the JDRF Tee up to Cure Diabetes tournament. Of course I can't type any of this with out bawling. He draws the most adorable pictures of little kids with Insulin pumps and little lines like "Insulin is not a cure" and "Help me and my friends live a life without diabetes". He is my little activist, a natural leader. He is a passionate child in so many ways (good and bad, lol) and I can only hope we are raising him to be strong and dedicated to his passions. "A cure" sounds so ideal and cliche' at the same time, but they are so close, so close. I pray that it happens in his lifetime. I have given up on it happening in Dante's lifetime but there is always a chance.

2006-07-05T15:53:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was my due date for the baby we lost in November. It was a sad day but I guess the pain was eased some by the fact that I am pregnant again and seem to be doing okay this time around. I am 21 weeks today and seriously, it is just flying by! It really needs to slow down.

I am starting to watch my nephew, Alex, on Mondays. I am not thrilled about spending my day off babysitting but I know she needs the help and he is one sweet little guy! I told her I would only do it until late October since I am due in November. In December Leona will start watching him full time.

I will update tomorrow with some other fun stuff - I am headed home now!

Much love!

2006-06-28T10:30:00.000-07:00

Here are the pictures again, but not as small. Enjoy!!

2006-06-28T09:31:00.000-07:00

Ultrasound pictures!

These were done at exactly 19 weeks and the baby was measuring 4 days ahead at 19wk4d. At 6 and 10 weeks the baby was measuring right on date, so I am assuming s/he has had a little growth spurt. I want to have a big 9 pounder! I love chubby newborns, and with a c-section, size doesn't really worry me like it would if I were trying for a VBAC.

Despite my really wanting to find out in moments of weakness, we stayed strong and didn't find out the sex of the baby. S/he was pretty shy and we only got a couple partial face pictures. S/hekept covering up his/her (man, that's exhausting!!) face with his/her arm. Even if we wanted to find out the sex, I don't think we could have, the legs were crossed tightly the entire time.

The kiddos were able to go with us and they loved seeing their baby brother and sister. I love that they are old enough to share in all of the excitement with us.

They printed out about 10 pictures and also burned a bunch to a CD for us. Here are some:

Profile Shot

Little crossed legs

A 3D shot of the face and arm

Trey calls this one "I had a bad day".

A sweet one on the head, cheeks, arm, and hand - I love the cute little ear. :)

It's about time for an update. :)

2006-06-28T08:11:00.001-07:00

Last night we had a wicked rain, hail, and thunder storm. In 30 minutes we got over an inch of rain. Considering that is more than Albuquerque has gotten all year long, I was excited. Our entire backyard was standing in water and part of our gravel on the side of the house was in the street this morning. Oh well, I won't complain - it smelt wonderful this morning and my trees are happy. Another bonus - maybe it won't be so freaking dry here on the Forth of July and the little shits that live behind us won't light our roof on fire with their illegal bottle rockets (that they light year round).

Last night the kids and I went to eat with Leona and her 2 sisters. It was such a nice time just hanging out and laughing with a group of women (and our army of children). Her sisters are hilarious and my side hurts this morning from all our giggling. Erica brought her 8 week old, Max, and he is so adorable. I am so glad I am pregnant because I don't think I could withstand that kind of baby fever he gives off. :)

Trey is growing so fast. He lost his 3rd tooth on Saturday and looks like a little jack-o-lantern. He is spending his days in the pool at my parent's house and is all sunkissed. He is such a handsome little guy with his tan and sun-bleached hair. He is so excited for this baby. His cousin Alex is prepping him for a new little one in the house. My mom is watching him one day a week and Trey is loving every minute of it. Last week he kissed him 67 times - yes, he kept track throughout the day. :) We we dropped him off, I heard him say under his breath, "I loooove babies!" He is just so sweet. When we go anywhere and someone has a baby he tells them, I have a baby cousin and he is 5 months old. People look at him like, "great, kid". LOL He is so proud. I am sad that summer vacation is half way over. I have enjoyed him being home and us having a good time together. I don't understand how some parents just can't wait for school to start so they can have some peace (maybe I will reconsider this as he gets older, lol).

Devyn is my big four year old. She is finally going to bed on her own, with no movie, and staying in her room all night! This is huge since for the last 3.5+ years she has been in bed with us at least half of the week. I love watching her blossom into a little girl. She has her little bestfriends that she loves, she enjoys playing dress-up, and playing in the mud. She is such a neat mix of complete girliness and adventure, with definate signs that she has an older brother. She is back in ballet for the summer and it has brought her out of her shy spell in ways that I never imagined possible. She has turned in to such a vibrant, playful soul. She is just awesome and stricking in her personality. Her favorite thing to do is dance. She was asking if we could go to another wedding this weekend, so she could dance. We went to a wedding on Saturday and she was the hit of the dance floor. I am pretty sure she dances better than anyone in our family. LOL She is also anxious to meet the baby. Her baby hog tendencies are kicking in and she smothers any baby she sees with love and kisses. This week she wants a boy, but it bounces back and forth weekly.

I will be back after I resize my u/s pics to post them.

2006-06-21T09:15:00.001-07:00

Belly Pictures

18 weeks

And for comparison:

10 weeks

14 weeks

Dr's Appointment: 18wk5d

2006-06-20T12:03:00.001-07:00

Weight: +2lbs for a total of 6 lbs gain total
BP: 118/78 (a little high for me)
Heartrate: 152 BPM

I scheduled my appointment for as early as possible so I wouldn't have to wait, since my OB's office tends to fall behind schedule as the day progresses. I was there and 7:15 and I still didn't get seen until after 8:30. I guess he was on call all night and was in a c-section so I guess I forgive him, lol.

It was your normal appointment. I was excited since I only gained 2 lbs for a total gain of 6lbs so far. My bp was fine, urine was fine, baby sounded great, etc. I talked to him about my recent bouts of almost fainting. Twice in the last couple weeks I have almost passed out.

Once was at Cliff's amusement park so I blamed it on the heat, sun, and needing to eat. It happened again on Sunday. I was at the mall with the kids and it hit me. You know, that sweaty, dizzy feeling right before you hit the ground. I hurried to the foot court to get a drink and told the kids to sit down at a table right by me and to watch me. I told them if I passed out to call for help and tell whoever came that I was pregnant. While I was in line their little concerned eyes were GLUED to my back. It was so sweet, but I felt bad for worrying them.Anyway - the doctor said it was completely normal at this time and it usually means I have been on my feet for too long.

Let's see - I declined the screening for Down's Syndrome and whatnot and he gave me the referral for my ultrasound. I called and they had an opening for tomorrow morning, but of course, Dante can't take any time off this week because he is working overtime all week. He is not allowed to work OT and have leave in the same pay period. Boo. So I called back and rescheduled for his day off - Friday. It will work out better because we really want Trey and Devyn to be there and he can bring them with him and head home after.

I am starting to get really weak about not finding out the sex of this sweet baby. When that temptation is placed in front of you it is so hard to say, "no, it's okay, we really don't want to know right now". LOL. Dante is still pretty strong on not finding out so I am hoping he will pull us through. LOL I will have lots of pictures to share on Friday afternoon. The place we are going to does 3D and 4D ultrasounds and allows you to bring in a disc and they will record them for you. :) I remember going there with Natasha when she was pregnant with Cillian and it was so amazing. :)

I am also highly annoyed that Dr.Rowe will be out of the office and/or is booked when I need to go in for my next appointment and I have to see the crappy Nurse practicioner that has ZERO bedside manners. Grrr. I decided I better see her rather than waiting 7 weeks to be seen again, just in case.

I can't believe I am almost halfway there. I had Trey take my belly pictures on Sunday and I will upload them tomorrow. I have grown so much in the last 5 weeks!

2006-06-16T06:30:00.001-07:00

Pregnancy update: 18 weeks

Your baby weighs about 5.25 ounces and is 5-1/2 inches long from crown to rump, or about the size of a large pickle. Your baby's digestive system is starting to produce meconium, its first fecal matter. Some new moms are scared at the sight of it in their newborns diapers and think something must be wrong with their baby, but its perfectly normal and will only last a few days after birth.

Let's see, I am definately growing quite a bit and my belly is very noticably pregnant now. The baby is very active and I am loving the bumps that I am finally feeling. They are most noticable when I am laying in bed at night. S/he seems to really like my singing (at least someone does!!). When I am singing in the car I can really feel a lot of moving around. Everyday I think more that this baby is a girl. I really don't care what I have. With one of each there really is no pull one way or the other. After a year of trying and a miscarriage, I am just so happy to be pregnant. I would love a baby boy again because Trey is almost 7. It has been so long since I have had a new baby boy. I would love a girl because Devyn is such a sweet little girl and she really wants a sister. It would be nice to let them share a room and we still have most of her baby clothes. But really - it doesn't matter.

I have my 18 week appointment on Tuesday morning with Dr. Rowe. I am hoping that they will schedule my 20 week ultrasound in the next week or so. I am so anxious to see this baby. We still are positive that we won't be finding out the sex. I think the thrill of not knowing and the anticipation that will lead up to the delivery will be so wonderful. We will know what day I will have the baby since it will be a scheduled c-section, we will see the baby on the 3D ultrasound, let there be a little surprise left in life!!! LOL

My pregnancy is flying by - like fast. I am ready for it to slow down! I want to really savor this pregnancy since it will definately be my last. I have been very anxious to feel strong movements and now that I am, it can slow down!!