My God of the Eleventh hour

Mass on Sunday really spoke to my heart. Father Whorton's homily was about our God of the 11th hour. How in so many times in our life it seems like God has left you alone in your sorrow or desperation, but in the end He is always there when you need Him the most. He told a story about how his sister had only had c-sections and was pregnant again. She prayed that God would allow her to have a child naturally even though all the doctors had told her no, a c-section was the only way to go. Ring a bell? **ding, ding ding** And in the end, she was in the operating room about to go into surgery and the baby came on it's own. That was God's intervention answering her prayers.

This was my story. I felt like this message was God's way of saying, "Yes Brandi, I see you there in the 4th pew back and I am so glad you could join us today!" LOL

I always felt like I had been cheated out of the experience of a natural childbirth that I had so desperately wanted. I went to my OB and asked him to please let me try when I found out I was pregnant with my third child. He consulted with the board and they declined my request. A c-section was scheduled for a Monday morning and I had no choice. I had been put on bed rest at 32 weeks and at 38 weeks, on a Friday night, I was sitting on the couch and as I leaned back to stretch my back, my water broke. I took my time showering, shaving my legs and getting pretty before heading to the hospital. I am a bit prissy like that. ;) I was not having many contractions and my labor with Trey was so incredibly long I figured why not?? Well, as Dante was wigging out, I decided to not blow my hair dry and get going. By the time we got to the hospital my contractions were so intense I thought I was going to have my baby in the lobby. ;) I got triaged and they let me hang out for a while. Since I was progressing so fast they were trying to get an O.R. ready for me but kept having emergency c-sections bump my spot. So finally a room was ready and they took me back. I was still drug free and pretty panic-stricken. They checked me before getting started and the doctor said, "Um, I think we are going to have a baby right now the good old fashioned way!" Little 5lb 15oz Audrey Genevieve came screaming into the world minutes later. My active labor was all of 20 minutes long. It was what I had prayed for and it was empowering and beautiful. It was intense because I was so unprepared mentally for a drug-free birth, but I would not change any of it.

It is interesting because I struggle with going to mass every single week but when I get there I feel so happy that I decided to go. I will admit, we have not been in over a month. We had been really good about going every Sunday but this is all still very new to us. We were married for over 7 years before we decided we needed to be raising our family in the Church. But now, every time I walk through the doors of our parish I feel at home. When I got down on my knees I teared up and thanked God for bringing me back. I pray for forgiveness for the choices in my life I make that aren't always the best. I always pray that He holds me tight and doesn't let me slip away. It sounds cliche', I know, but I do get a very overwhelming emotional feeling every time I am there (unless we end up in the cry room, haha).

Dante and I went through Alpha classes the first half of 2008 and start RCIA in January. On Easter I will be baptized and confirmed in the the Catholic church. It has been a beautiful journey and I am very blessed with the Alpha friends I have made along the way.